The majority of clients the Lord sends to New Creation Ministries are dealing with some form of sexual or relational brokenness.
For some, it’s pornography addictions, same-sex attraction, affairs, betrayals, and a host of other battles. For others, it’s childhood trauma that affects how they cope with adult situations. Eventually, the stress becomes so bad it affects their marriage, children, employment, and spiritual life. The end result can be catastrophic, but that’s when the Lord leads them to NCM.
Ted is one of those stories. As a ministry leader, he was hesitant to contact us about his struggles, but he reached out following a referral from a former client couple. Vanessa, our office manager, has a unique ability to sense who needs a personal touch and often sends them to me for an initial introductory call. These calls are easy for me to do since I’ve been in their shoes. And in situations like this, especially with leaders, personal contact to answer questions and offer support is often well-received.
Ted asked the typical questions we’ve heard times before. Would we inform his supervisor? Would the head office need to know? Does our program actually work? What is your counselors background and are they licensed?
After years of therapy and continual struggle, Ted had serious doubts that anyone could help. But he’d heard wonderful things, from close friends, about the counseling they’d received at NCM and how it saved their marriage from disaster.
With their stunning referral, Ted wondered what our secret was. My response was simple… Our counselors have personally experienced addictive behaviors, relational brokenness, and trauma which the healing power of Jesus has touched. Because of that victory, we can agree with Paul that, “(He) comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Cor 1:4).
As we counsel from a position of brokenness and weakness made strong, the Lord uses us to heal others.
After forty-five minutes of encouraging him, Ted’s brokenness came pouring out. He shared about hitting rock bottom just days before when, during a breakdown, he mistreated his family and his wife told him to leave.
As we unpacked his upbringing, I understood why he came uncorked. Years of “stuffing” his feelings down to avoid taunts from his family had taken their toll. Ted brought this tension into his marriage where he never felt comfortable sharing his deep hurts with his wife. Not that his wife would not receive them but his insecurities prevented him from opening up to her.
Ted’s relationship with his mother went even deeper, leaving him convinced everyone would abandon him if he honestly expressed his feelings. He even felt like it wasn’t safe to be honest with God. After encouraging and praying for him, Ted said he would schedule an appointment with Russell.
A few weeks later Russell and I met with him over Zoom where Ted shared his story again.
Here we had another ministry leader suffering severe relational brokenness at the hands of parents who inﬂicted their personal damage onto their children. One more leader who was outwardly outgoing and “take charge” but inwardly dealing with a God who was too small to love him.
Russell encouraged him to take a chance and pour out his heart to the Lord in the same way David did in the Psalms. He encouraged Ted to cry out to God from the core of his being, expecting God to meet him in that very place. He also challenged Ted it was time to, “speak the truth in love” to his wife like Ephesians 4:15 says and stop fearing her response.
The next time we met with Ted the transformation was unbelievable. During our ﬁrst session he looked disheveled and hopeless; this time the moment he appeared on the screen he was beaming! God had truly touched him, in ways which only God can do. As he was obedient to cry out to the Lord, God’s peace took hold of him. For the first time in his life, he understood his worth and value to God. It was truly a miracle.
Ted has since moved back home and his marriage is continuing to heal. Most importantly, he continues to grow in true intimacy with God. And that intimacy and love is making him fearless.
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